In the 1880’s Heinz Wachovia lived at Funfundzwanzig Zweitewienerwald Strasse in the town of Emmendingaling in the Schwartz Wald (Black Forest) area of southwest Germany (Deutschland). The surname “Wachovia” was, in the Schwartz Wald, pronounced with a deep, prolonged guttural “CCHH-H-H”. The Schwartz Wald was and remains today a very popular tourist destination. Being a creative entrepreneur, Heinz made a small fortune betting American tourists they couldn’t say his full name and address 3 times fast with stumbling or laughing. Yes, Heinz did well.
With that small fortune Heinz persuaded others to invest in a venture to open a small bank in Emmendingaling. Fearing his bank wouldn’t be taken seriously by anyone outside of Emmendingaling and having a sizeable ego, he chose not to name it Bank of Emmendingaling, instead naming it “Wachovia Bank”, pronounced of course with the deep, prolonged, guttural “CH”. Heinz’s bank did well, in part due the first promotional gimmick by a German bank in the history of Deutschland. Customers were promised 10 marks (back when 10 marks really meant something) if every employee of his bank did not greet them with “Welcome to Wachovia” with the now characteristic pronunciation of “Wachovia”.
The Kaiser Incident. In the waning days of WW I, Kaiser Wilhelm himself came to the main Emmendingaling branch of what was now a multi-branch banking corporation. The branch manager, Otto von Tuchas snapped to attention, saluted the Kaiser and just when the Kaiser stepped forward to congratulate him gave the Kaiser his best, full throated “Welcome to Wachovia”. A gigantic ball of phlegm rocketed out of von Tuchas’s mouth landing smack dab in the Kaiser’s eye. The story ran as a rare amusing sidebar to the otherwise grim war news around Germany, even being picked up by the international press. The bank and its name became dreck in Germany. A public company, its stock plummeted making it ripe pickings for a buyer. Otto von Tuchas was fired but later picked up by MGM to work with Buster Keaton.
Ripe for the pickings, Wa”cchhhh”ovia Bank was bought up by a small cadre of powerful US bankers seeking a bank to make high risk loans. In partnership with Heinz Wachovia the bankers opened branches in New York City, beginning on East 86th Street, the heart of NYC’s German-American community – Yorkville. To put the fear of God into its borrowers, the pronunciation of Wachovia Bank was immediately changed to “Watch Ovuh Ya”. And watch over you it did. Even borrowers up to their ears were never in arrears.
As the Great Depression took hold in the US, FDR took tighter control of banks; laws against usury were passed and aggressively prosecuted on the state and federal levels. Due to their official fear mongering, “Watch Ovuh Ya” bank officials were successfully forced by a little known footnote to New Deal legislation to change the pronunciation to what we know it as today: “Wok ovya”. A proposed promotional deal after WW II involving the wielding of woks when greeting customers was nixed by its insurance company. Those with Wachovia Bank loans know the pronunciation as “Watch Ovuh Ya”.
[Studiously researched in the recesses of a twisted mind.]
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